My Journey

My weight struggles date back to the summer after second grade. I can't pin point what went wrong but I can tell you I gained a little too much weight that summer. And every summer after that.

I am not a natural born athlete, but in my elementary school years, my mom pushed me to atleast try softball. After a few years with that, I gave up. I much preferred laying on the couch, hand in a chip bag, watching tv. I was an only child, and the only grandchild for a long time, so there was no one to run and play with outside. My mom did the absolute best she could, but being a single parent with a demanding diva-child, it was hard to constantly be shopping for fresh produce, lean meats and whatever health food craze was going on at the time. We ate alot of macaroni and cheese, fish sticks, tuna salad, wings, anything easy and cheap. She had always struggled with her weight too, but I think it's just honestly because of lack of time and knowledge on how to turn it around (I love you momma!)

I was always the fat friend, all the way into high school. I was the wing man, the girl who got passed over by not just the popular boys, but all the boys. While friends all weighed in the 110-130 range, I remember weighing about 163 my senior year. I wouldn't eat lunch in the cafeteria, so I'd get a bag of chips and a candy bar for lunch. Then, after school my friends and I would eat Taco Bell, Subway or McDonald's before going home and eating again for dinner. I don't know how I didn't weigh 363 pounds with these habits.

I lost a bit of it my first year of college, and started to thin out naturally. Then I moved out. I lived right next door to a Sonic with my cousin who could eat anything she wanted and lose a pound. We ate Sonic nearly every day, and I blew up again.

I weighed 186 pounds when I met my now husband. I was so uncomfortable with my weight but he never, ever had an issue with it. (Love that husband of mine) He was stationed in Italy but from the same town as me, so we met when he was on leave. As soon as he left to go back, I knew this was my chance to focus on me and my health. This was the first time I tried Weight Watchers. I lost 19 pounds over the course of 5 months. Keep in mind, this was quite the task, as I was on campus most of the day, being lured to Burger King and Taco bell between classes. I went to visit S in Italy weighing 168 pounds. As soon as I got there, the diet went out the window. I mean it was ITALY. Who diets in Italy? I actually lost a pound (I think from all the walking), after being there for almost a month. When I got home though, the Weight Watchers stopped. I would sign up again, go to two or three meetings, then suspend my account. I think I have joined and quit five times now.

S and I got engaged 3 years later. We were on a beach trip when he proposed and I promised myself I'd lose weight for the wedding. I decided to sign up for Ideal Protein the Monday we returned. When I stepped on the scale and saw I was now over 200 pounds, I wanted to cry. I was so mad at myself for gaining back all my Weight Watchers weight and then some.

Ideal Protein lasted a few months but it was far too strict and I only lost 11 pounds. I knew I needed something liveable. I did not lose as much weight for my wedding as I wanted. On my wedding day, I weighed 193 pounds.

(photo taken April 2012 at our wedding, once the photographer left my 40 dress came off!)

Somewhere around July though, it all clicked. I started using myfitnesspal to chart my calories and exercise. I bought a heart rate monitor to know exactly how much I was burning. I started this little blog and got tremendous support. I now weigh less than the day I met my husband, with about 30 more pounds to go till I reach my goal. I want to be healthy for my future pregnancies, and to be a positive role model to my children. I want to live a long life with my husband, and I know I've got a hell of alot better shot of doing that healthy.

These pictures were taken a year apart. The left is me at a 70's party and the right is 20 pounds lighter, taken this October

Now, my hand doesn't stay in a chip bag, it's wrapped around a protein bar or a bottle of water. I am a runner. I will feel comfortable in my skin if it's the last thing I do. My journey is far from over, but I am well on my way.