I could sit here and mope about it and tell you my whoa is me story but the fact is, everybody is going through something. The fact is, tomorrow is a new day, thank ya baby J!
After today, I was not looking forward to my personal training session. Normally, I meet my trainer twice a week, but we're adding a session this week because I missed last Thursday to get a spray tan.
Anyway, Kassie from back in the day would have got home and ate my feelings. I wanted pizza. I wanted chips. I wanted chocolate. That's what I would've done before. But DJ was waiting for me. This is why I signed up. I needed someone to be waiting on me. No backing out. No "I don't feel like it". I got to the gym and we stretched then got to work. Earlier in the day he texted me asking if I wanted to add a session today. I told him I ate like crap this weekend and I wanted him to be hard on me this week. Oops. I ate one too many of those pretty little white chocolate dipped oreos and maybe sushi and some bread and frozen yogurt too. Oops. Anyway, that's neither here nor there.
Have any of you heard of Battle Ropes? Those massive ropes that you basically just whip up and down till you want to punch an old lady because it hurts so bad? We started with that. That was our warm up. My sessions with DJ are only 30 minutes long, but the are the toughest 30 minutes of life.
Note: I did not look this bad ass when using the ropes. I looked more like Honey Boo Boo attempting to open a jar of tightly closed pickles. Oh yeah, tongue out and all.
I got through the work out and walked into the gym. Oh yeah, we were outside in the already hot as balls Louisiana heat. I'm sitting there, listening to DJ explain my workouts for the days we don't meet and I get that super fun feeling where your hearing goes in and out and you know you'll either puke or pass out. I was luckily near the back exit and walked outside to get some air. I went from leaning again the gym wall, to sitting in the grass to flat out laying there.
Eyes closed, on my back, in the grass. The breeze felt good but the pukey feeling wasn't subsiding. I have never pushed myself to that limit. Lying there, I thought that even though I felt like crap, I was on top of the world. I was capable of so much more than I give myself credit for. And then I thought about all you girls and all your goals. And how we could never reach our goals if we didn't push ourselves to that point.
I've always been that way, and not just physically. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do you think we can only do so much? Why don't we say F that, I can go harder, run farther, lift more, etc. etc.
I think I am about to turn over a new leaf. Yes, I had a crappy day. But I did really well with my eating. Yes, I had to stop 3 times during my work out to rest, but each time I finished. Yes, I didn't finish everything on my long list of things to do today, but I finished half. I really really need to work on seeing the glass half full and knowing that I can do so much more than I give myself credit for. Can I get a Amen?