I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
I want to feel as sexy as my husband thinks I am.
I want to wear sleeveless shirts and shorts and not keep adjusting them or pulling at them.
I want to feel fit.
I want to be confident and proud of how far I've come.
I want to inspire others to better themselves, physically.
I want to show those who doubted me that I'm capable of more.
I want to be healthy for my future children.
I want to wear a dress that shows my curves and not worry if my hips look big.
I want to not hate shopping for clothes and stop being disappointed that they don't zip up.
I want to wear a bikini, on the beach, in front of people, and not suck in or feel uncomfortable. I want to rock the hell out of it the whole freakin' time.
When I started writing up this list, the bikini thing stuck out to me alot. Of course it's not as important as being fit and healthy and proud, but it's a goal I've always wanted to reach. Looking back, I've always been the "fat friend". In high school, all my bff's were 110 pounds and I was 160. I was the wing-woman, if you will. I remember wearing a t-shirt and basketball (i.e. long) shorts over my bathing suit on my senior trip in Cancun, and overhearing my classmates saying how ridiculous I was. In my own head though, I needed to cover up. I never realized that piling on the clothes made me stand out more than letting my fat flag fly. (yeah, I just said that)
In college, I wasn't much of a partier, but when I did go out with friends, I was the only one that didn't get hit on. I never got asked for my number. I stood out, though, again as being the fat friend. I have never gotten the care free feeling of wearing a bikini (other than a tankini) without shorts, a cover up, a towel wrapped around me, etc. and I want to feel that before I have 15 babies--okay, that is a biiiig exaggeration...
But I am bound and determined to make my eeny meeny bikini dream come true. It will happen. Next summer. I have plenty of time to lose the weight and tone up. I'm not dreaming up this totally unrealistic plan to be beach ready in 6 weeks. I can do this, and I will. And there will be photographic proof. Right on these pages, I promise you all. I am committed to this and you will see this girl in a bikini.
While daydreaming that I was at the beach, I came across a few beauties that I'd love to rock some day.
That's right. Go big or go home. No black one-pieces here. If I'm gonna do this, I might as well stick out like a sore thumb, but for being in a bright ass bikini, not for being covered up like an Alaskan salmon fisherman. 8 months and counting---well, 4 if you could Louisiana summer. Who's with me?